What Belonging Feels Like
This week's letter is a question: what makes somewhere feel like home to you?
I’ve been back in Japan a little while and recently I've been thinking more and more about what it means to really belong in a place. Can a foreigner truly belong in their adopted culture? And if so, what are the steps to getting there?
The other night I was standing by the side of the Takase River, making some field recordings of the kajika frogs for episode two of the Kyoto, in Sound podcast. Headphones on, microphone in hand, the night air moving the trees softly. I felt full joy in that moment — like I was exactly where I wanted to be, doing exactly what I wanted to do.
It made me wonder: is this the beginning of truly belonging to a place?
What is it that makes a place truly feel like a home, rather than just somewhere you live? What are the moments that help turn temporary into rooted?
I know what I think it might look like: a regular rhythm of cafes, and shops where people know me, neighbours waving hello in the morning, Japanese spoken with more ease, opportunities opening up because people know about me and my work here. Also, it probably comes down to having an awful lot of patience.
And already I see small seeds sprouting — there’s the owner of a local cafe I go to a lot who recognises me even if it’s not by name yet. There’s a small handful of neighbours who greet me rather than rushing off into their homes. And I just about have the beginnings of a community forming.
I’d like to write more about this soon — but before I do, I’m curious about what other people’s experiences have been like. Have you ever had to make a new place your home? If you’ve lived abroad, or even just in a different state or city, what helped you cross the line from just living there to really belonging? Please leave a comment below, or reach out by email.
Mary Oliver once wrote, “Attention is the beginning of devotion.” And maybe that’s a good starting point.
As always, thank you for noticing with me.
Until next time,
🍃 SJF
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